Lowmans Arizona Funeral Home, Inc.
“The Death of Common Sense”
Greetings fellow Villagers and happy 4th of July to all of you. Forgive me, in advance, for not providing a better article for this month’s issue. I am in the process of losing my father so my focus is a bit foggy right now. As we all do, I am struggling to deal with what is inevitable. I have not received the “call” yet, but my heart and mind are with my parents and family. In anticipation, I cannot get my tears to stop from flowing, so please indulge with me, if you will, in reading an obituary on “Common Sense”. It’s ironic that this is the only thing I could come up with, but the first thing that left me when I received a call this morning that things didn’t look good. The author is unknown but the message; sad but clear.
Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the Millennium. No one really knows how old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn’t always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and its okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and new math. His health declined when he became infected with the “if it only helps one person – it’s worth it” virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn’t inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.
Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. His three stepbrothers survive him; Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. As always, Bill and Ingried Lowman are available 24/7 at (602) 276-3601, toll free (877) 276-3601, & fax (602) 276-1889.